ABOUT US
A strange name?
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Meet the Crew
How we started
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CRUISING STORIES
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Overland Adventures
Around the world in Dulcinea
Australia to Japan
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STORIES IN ALASKA
Laurence in Alaska
Prince William Sound
Cordova
STORIES FROM JAPAN
Japan
Simply the BEST
Tokushima
Huis Ten Bosch
West Coast
STORIES FROM AUSTRALIA
Townsville
Barrier Reef Cruise 2005
Townsville 2006
CRUISING TALES
Cruising Quickstep
Seabird
A Spooky story
Dulcinea
Sore-Head Skipper
Gone Fishin'
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| DIARY Townsville 6th June 2009 illywhacker is still a mess. The refrigeration repair became a major rebuild with both the 12volt DC and the 240 volt AC system requiring new condensors and a complete overhaul. I took the opportunity to utilise the much greener, hydrocarbon style refrigerants too. A mate flew up from Sydney to help with the installation of my newly electrified sheet winches. I'm glad he did as it was a full week's work ... and I'm still not finished. After he left I was exhausted physically and I felt lonely and drained emotionally. In the past I always had Lyndall to call upon to provide some common sense and direction. Without her guidance I just felt a deep, deep emptiness which as usual was slowly mended with a few tears. Will this be the pattern for the rest of my life?Townsville 9th May 2009 I've been back aboard illywhacker for 2 days now - and confronted with an impossible stowage task. Moving out of the house somehow resulted in a ridiculous amount of gear that came with me in the car - I just couldn't decide what else to do with it! The outside of the boat is in desperate need of a clean due to 6 months of savage onslaught by cormorants, but I'm still confined below, scuttling about moving boxes from one place to another. At least it doesn't give me any spare time to feel too miserable and I'm sure Lyndall would approve. She loved putting things in their designated places, cleaning, labelling and testing them all in readiness for our next passage. It will be Mother's Day tomorrow, another sad hurdle for me.Sydney 25th April 2009 There's been a fair bit of activity in my life over these last few weeks. Matthew and Julie moved to the UK early in the month giving me the incentive to commence the clearing out processes needed to downsize from this house and move aboard illywhacker. Currently I have 1 chair, 1 bed and a half-empty refrigerator....the house looks quite bare! The plan is to drive away from Sydney with an impossibly full car later next week and head for Townsville, staying with friends along the way. This is the beginning of a new phase for me...me the individual...me the uncertain. But if I can stay positive on the journey north, I'll be able to draw upon our great store of memories and when I climb onto illywhacker's waiting decks with my ever-present companion, together we'll be ready to start our next adventure.Sydney 25th March 2009 Lyndall's birthday today. I took an early walk along our favourite beach and watched as grey clouds lifted and the sun came out from behind. "OK", she was saying, "it's time to get on with your life". And my clouds are lifting. Friends have been generous in their invitations and I have cruised to Lord Howe island on a 10 day power boating adventure, crewed in a weekend race and several evening races as well. Readjustment takes time but I am moving ahead with the downsizing needed to move out of this house and back aboard. It's a case of "everything must go" - except those vital items that will fit into my car for the trip north to Townsville and hopefully find a space on illywhacker. We've done it before and those who have gone through the process will recognise the painful decision chain that separates living aboard from a house on land. Challenging, sure... but what a great lifestyle.Sydney 14th February 2009 - Valentines Day The rain eased briefly this morning and under an overcast sky we motored out into an empty Pittwater in Joysea, an old converted timber trawler. There were 12 of us aboard, our adult children and a few friends quietly watching the chuckling wake. On the saloon table surrounded by flower petals lay a small cardboard box which carried a silver plaque, engraved Lyndall Aston. We were about to honour her last wish. Recycle my bodily remains, she had said, but keep my spirit in your hearts. Pittwater is where we learned to sail as kids together, where we built our house called Toad Hall and where we built illywhacker. Setting her ashes free in these waters was both natural and necessary. When the engine stopped we drifted to an outgoing tide beside the bushland shore. I was weeping as I bade her farewell on her next ocean journey, gently lowering the box into the water. Petals were scattered after it and we watched in teary silence as it slowly drifted away. Our son David and a friend recited a poem each as she slowly gathered way, surrounded by a floating tribute of white and yellow. We felt deeply alone but united in her love - there were hugs all around as our dear Lyndall sailed away.Sydney 25th January 2009 My feelings of loss are still as deep as ever but the pain of dealing with it is easing a little. I am hesitantly making plans for the future and with an end to Northern Australia's tropical Summer approaching I am looking forward to once again living aboard. It won't ever be the same but it will be familiar territory. All the advice I've received however is not to make any major lifestyle changes for at least 2 years. My beautiful house near the water in Sydney may not be home as is illywhacker but it is central to my support group of family and friends so I'm reluctant to let it go while I live aboard this time around. I think what I would like most is for a like-soul to move in on a walk-in, as-is basis, use all my stuff, pay the bargain rent and to enjoy living here as I do now for 6 to 12 months. If the idea of a move to Sydney, Australia appeals to you, please email me.Sydney 25th December 2008 The first Christmas without Lyndall has been the saddest day ever. It seems that after 7 weeks and 2 days, I am now running on empty. My exhausted body has stopped producing the endorphins that have so far kept me on an adrenalin high and the reality of it all has now set in. The advice I have is to go gently, stay well and steer clear of any decisions of consequence. So my creative side is on hold for a while - but stay tuned!Townsville, 3rd December 2008 I have been aboard illywhacker for 6 days now, alone. Marina friends have been dropping by, offering condolences but embarrassed by my tears, scurry away to their own boats along the dock. With strength of purpose I rise early for a walk and swim, determined each day to make a start on the list of boat tasks. But all it takes is for me to hold one of her favourite things and all around me, paintings, artifacts, books scream out ... Lyndall selected me, Lyndall put me here, she's here, and here and here. I just don't know if I'll ever stop sobbing after such episodes. The day then takes on a desultory pace, the list lying discarded. As each day passes though, the joys of living aboard occasionally shine through and the promise of a sail on the sparkling waters of the bay offers just a little cheer. They say this sort of behaviour is normal - it's a first for me!Sydney, 17th November 2008 Thank you dear friends for your condolences and kind messages of support. Never before have I felt so empty inside, so rudderless and unmotivated. All around me here are tearful reminders of Lyndall so I have decided to drive the 2300 Km north to illywhacker, visiting friends along the way. Being aboard again will no doubt trigger more tears but I need to be reminded of our shared dream ...and to continue with it.Sydney, 4th November 2008 Bedside days and nights uncounted Her body morphine-wracked Each gentle touch, each smell, each sound an anguish My life companion drifts away Leaving me to flounder In an ocean of tears Lyndall - died Today 4th November 2008 Her earthly form to earthly matter Her spirit in my heart |
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